Today is Sunday. So naturally when I woke up this morning, I had a longing for a real Sunday breakfast...mmmm...bacon, eggs, toast, grilled tomato. Yeah, Sundays!
Imagine me, standing there frying up the bacon first, since cold eggs are gross, and the tomatoes don't take long, things going just like any other "yeah-whatever-day-of-the-week!" breakfast...That is until I put the second batch of bacon in the pan, at which point the fat exploded and attacked me, completely unprovoked! Not just attached me, but assaulted my eyeball. Bacon fat burned my eyeball. My actual eyeball. There is a burn on my eyeball.
It ruined my morning.
But not enough to stop cooking and ruin breakfast. And in retaliation I ate all the bacon.
And then instead of going to the hospital or anything (have you even been to the emergency room on a Sunday? I don't think so! I'd have to loose a limb or something before I did that and even then, maybe I'd wait until Tuesday) I went to the artists book fair at P.S.1 instead, which was awesome, and I spent all my money. I spent the rest of the afternoon drooling after amazing, amazing artist books that I can only dream of owning someday. All the while my eyeball gently throbs as though someone stuck their thumb in it. Nothing like looking at books and pretty things to calm you after after a ferocious breakfast meat attack.
Maybe tomorrow it'll be all better and the brown spot will be magically healed and I won't really have a burned my eyeball 'cause that's just gross.
Gross, but it does prove how talented and graceful I can be.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment